2013 Games of the Year

A Tradition Unlike Any Other: Spending my New Year's Eve writing the Top 10 instead of partying, getting drunk, or sleeping. I feel the need to get this in before the next year rolls around in three hours and change. Principles, I has them.

We're not going to spend a whole lot on hating what didn't go right in 2013, because there was a bit. Instead, we'll dive right on in and talk about what did go right in the last 364 days, 20 hours, and 40 minutes, because there was a lot. 

This year's top ten was pretty unanimous at the top, but diverse near the bottom. There were quite a few good games that came out this year (though not many from the next gen consoles -- I'll give that a free pass, though). 

TOP TEN FOR 2013

10. SAINTS ROW IV (Multi)

This game is fucking ridiculous in every way that makes it awesome. The series decided to say fuck it we're going to take this franchise from a Grand Theft Auto ripoff/homage to elevate things to the insane. The result? Insane fun. We're not going to get Keith David to voice a character, we're just going to get Keith David. When the game thinks purple dildos were going to be too outrageous, they just decide to make it longer, more wobbly and more pleasurable.

9. ZELDA: A LINK BETWEEN WORLDS (3DS)

from EGM: "A Link Between Worlds recognizes that it’s not tacked-on stealth segments or waggling a controller to roll bombs that makes Zelda tick—it’s the unbounded exploration and freedom found in the NES original, and it’s finally back in full force here. Every Zelda fan needs to play this game."





8. BROTHERS: A TALE OF TWO SONS (PC)

from Lord Bling: "I started to type a synopsis of what this game is about, and then I deleted it. Just play it. Take some time to get used to the 'two player co-op on one controller' setup, and let it draw you in. You won't regret it. The comparisons to 'Ico' and 'Journey' are valid in a lot of ways, and the last 30 minutes are some of the best in any game I've ever played."








7. BATTLEFIELD 4 (Multi)

This is the like the high school kid drafted into the NBA purely on Potential. He has no real jump shot, he can't get to the basket but he has out of this world athleticism! Battlefield can be one of the best shooters of the next generation. However, the game is pretty busted on Xbox One, not great on PC, but I can manage to get a few games in before crashing on PS4. This is still a better multiplayer experience than Call of Duty Ghosts, but until EA/DICE can focus on making the game stable, this may still toil in the D-League.





6. ANIMAL CROSSING: NEW LEAF (3DS)

I can't really fully explain the addictability (just made up that word and it works) of this game. This is the first Animal Crossing game I've played in any great detail, but it is something I can both play with my 7 year old daughter and my 33 year old co-worker. The game changes with you as you play, and gives you the ability to be Urban Planner, Interior Designer, Bell (the game's currency) farmer, Hedge Fund Manager.





5. ASSASSIN'S CREED IV (Multi)

from Lord Bling: "A major improvement over the last installment. They took what was best about part 3 (the boats!), removed all of the nagging tutorials, and just hand you the keys and say 'Have fun!' I have minor complaints about some scripting and bugs in some missions, but it's nothing that we haven't dealt with in previous games in the series. I can't wait to get back on the seas and start pillaging again."






4. GRAND THEFT AUTO V (Xbox 360)

from Lord Bling: "This is what a very talented group of developers can do when they have access to an almost unlimited amount of time and resources. Was it worth the wait? From a technical standpoint, yes. It's massive, and runs as stable as any open-world game on a console to date. However, we get three playable characters, yet not one of them is even remotely sympathetic. Each is a step back from Nico in part IV, and I found myself not wanting to spend time with any of them. Also, the online mode was hugely ambitious, but by the time they got it working properly, I'd moved on to something else."





3. TOMB RAIDER (Multi)

The Franchise may be 15 years old, but this reboot is as good as ever. Visceral, engaging, and gorgeous, we get to see the humble, violent, beginnings of Lara Croft's transformation into Tomb Raiding bad-ass, even if there isn't a lot of... Tomb Raiding. Crystal Dynamics didn't just use the reboot to set us up for future endeavors, they made the iconic character all her own.







2. BIOSHOCK INFINITE (Multi)

Taken into the air from Rapture, the latest installment is storytelling at it's best. One of those things where you go through to the and am like "WHAT". The ride is fantastic, thrilling, challenging, and thought provoking.









1. THE LAST OF US (PS3)

This was the Unanimous Game of the Year by not only every contributor, but pretty much every gaming site everywhere. If you haven't played this game already, do so; it isn't too late.

The Last of Us is a step in to then descent that goes with loss, and among utter devastation, when one slowly and abruptly one loses their sense of humanity, how one thing is worth holding onto, fighting to the death for, and even making decisions that make for water cooler discussions and rationalizations.

Naughty Dog doesn't usually fail to meet expectations, so the bar had already been set pretty high. However, from the opening sequence, you are thrust into an immersive environment with incredible visuals and virtual voice and movement performances that are worthy of live acting recognition.

This game is a must play for everyone and not only the best of 2013, but one of the best games of this console generation. 

2013 Year in Review begins with E3 Impressions, Part II: Six Months Later

There seems to be a recurring pattern here: Revive, Re-brand, Re-publish, Renew, Retire. I got this stunning urge and inspiration to write on the flight back from LA, and then that wonderful thing called life, job, career, kids, happen and then *poof!* we're two days from the new year and I'm like 'Holy Shit; I haven't put virtual pen to virtual paper in forever'.

This time, it is a little different. It isn't like I've been playing games non-stop and am just too lazy to write about them. This time, I started a new career, something more demanding, time intensive and not very friendly to an off peak video gaming lifestyle. While I tried to dedicate some time this year to playing through some games, it was severely diminished; something I hope to rectify in 2014.

This year featured the launch of the oft talked about next generation of consoles, Playstation 4 and Xbox One. I found myself in the fortunate position to be able to acquire both systems at launch, and after 6 weeks I find myself underwhelmed. I don't want to get caught up in this "which is better" nonsense because the capabilities themselves are essentially the same, but when I look back to what I thought at E3 in June and where they are now.

The talk of the show in the Summer was that Playstation 4 was the clear winner. Lower priced, no DRM locks, used game friendly, good lineup. My personal straw poll saw the PS4 was going to be the console of choice among those that were Xbox Loyalists; something that only confirmed to me of Microsoft's huge misstep. Microsoft figured brand loyalty would just let them coast into their standing lead among the big three in terms of install base with their new console. However, it seemed that everything they would announce for their new system would just piss people off. Back in June, I mentioned that Microsoft had five months to make their people happy, and to their credit, they tried.

Now that the smoke has cleared from the launch, I'm kind of back to where I was right after the Sony Conference; the Playstation 4 is the game console of choice for the new generation right now, though right now the game console of choice is still the Xbox 360.

None of these launches were bungled in any great way, but the selection of games is kind of lacking. No game that was exclusive to either next gen console made our top 10 of the year. I found a lot of the Xbox One's features to be frustrating. Setting up a party chat is a pain in the ass, and never really worked. There is too much going on at the dashboard. It as is if the interface was developed by someone who wanted to cater to the ADD Generation. I cannot force quit out of a game when it hangs up (which if you play Battlefield 4, you'll need that feature a lot).

Obviously there is a lot to be determined, here. Interfaces can be tweaked, there are better games coming on the horizon, and I think there will be some better support for Indie titles. However, now that we're looking forward to 2014, there is a hope that there is going to be a lot more in store in order for these consoles to live up to their four and five hundred dollar potentials.

E3 2013 Impressions, Part I: Sony wins the show before it even begins.

It happened around 10:00am local time on Monday, June 10^th. Microsoft was wrapping up its keynote press conference showing off an impressive lineup of games, explaining the features of their new console, the Xbox One, and overall putting on a decent show. They didn’t directly address the biggest gripes among the gaming press and public at large; it has to be connected to the internet at nearly all times, trading games was in a defacto state of not being allowed, and Kinect was integrated in the system. Out of sight, out of mind….

…well then came the price tag: $500.

Many of the industry people I spoke with (not associated with Microsoft) the night before the press conference was guessing the system would launch with a $400 price point. It made sense due to the face that Microsoft could afford staking a loss on each console, if they made up with it in games and other parts of the company.

Sony’s presser was yet 6 hours away, so they had sometime to plan a response. Sony was worried, however, that even though Xbox had run through some negative press in the three weeks since the Xbox One was announced, they could save themselves and swoop in with a low price and kill off any planned momentum Sony could get this time around.

Instead, Microsoft handed Sony a gift. $499 gave Sony the perfect opportunity to speak directly concerning the gamers’ gripes and slide in at a lower price point.

I was lucky enough to be in attendance for the Sony Press Conference. On the bus ride over to USC, there were some media people behind me reciting the IGN story that there were going to be three PS4 SKU’s with tiered pricing going from $399-599. There wouldn’t be any announcement about DRM because there were going to be some DRM policies in place, and that we may not even see the console that night. Even when I was seated, the talk was still about what can Sony do to win the day. “Well, they can’t possibly be cheaper than Xbox so they’re going to have to show some killer games”.

The conference started out talking about Vita games and games currently slated for Playstation 3. Now, I’m a Vita owner and really enjoy playing it, but I honestly was tuned out for that part, because everyone wanted to see what the PS4 looked like – even most of the Sony people I spoke with hadn’t even seen it.

The PS4 reveal was done poorly, in my opinion. They showed this short video that showed the console at the wrong angles; it honestly looked like an Xbox with a blue ring. It was also presented from the side, which made it look like a rhombus as opposed to the front resembling a blade. The air was kind of sucked out of the room, as people wasn’t sure what to think.

The Walking Dead on Vita. See, it isn't that difficult.

As the conference chugged on, (and I’m trying to be polite—but it chugged), we saw some of the video features that no one seemed to care about (Flixter), we saw some indie developers, which was impressive, but I’m still of the opinion that ALL INDIE GAMES SHOULD BE ON THE VITA. Other than Jack Tretton, there really weren’t many dynamic speakers on stage, and I could sense that there was a serious lull in the air, especially when the Assassin’s Creed IV Demo froze up and got cut off.

However, they really did save the best for last; a 5-10 minute live Multiplayer demo of Destiny (which looks amazing), followed by the announcement of the price. Before that, Jack wanted to take a second to cater to the audience – PS4 would not restrict game sharing. It would not have to be constantly connected to the internet. They would support rental and used games (much to Gamefly and Gamestop’s joy). And, they would retail at $399.

Boom. Mic dropped. Don’t forget to tip the waitress. Try the veal.

Those that were following the action on twitter, media, went nuts. Applauses erupted from the arena. I thought the guys sitting next to me were going to start crying. The rallying cry on Social Media was “cancel your XBONE preorder; go with Playstation 4”.

Microsoft is fucked. They don’t understand why, and I don’t understand that at all.

There is a fierce loyalty among the gaming community and I think Xbox and Sony took that for granted; the problem is that Sony learned that the hard way last time around and made up for it; Microsoft is just now learning that lesson within the last 48 hours. Gamers don’t want to hear what you can’t do with your “All in One” uber console. I don’t trade games in, I have my Xbox connected to the internet at nearly all times. I’ve been a faithful Xbox guy for the last 10 years, despite dealing with a few hardware failures. However, when you go out of your way to lock people out of playing games or acquiring games the way they want to play or buy, you are alienating the consumer. You especially look bad when your biggest competitor swoops right in and tells the gamers “Do what you want and do it for 80% of the price”.

At that point, your loyalty means nothing.

I get a lot of my games from either Amazon or Gamefly. If I can’t use Gamefly, I either have to dump them or dump Xbox One. Many other gamers are in my shoes—they rent games, buy them used, or trade new games in. They are going to jump like rats off the ship if Microsoft doesn’t do something.

What is more disturbing is they should have seen this coming. I saw it coming and I don’t work for Microsoft. They should have known that Sony would be willing to undercut them. Having Titanfall be an Xbox Exclusive isn’t going to drive people in droves to the console the way Halo did in 2001. These consoles are virtually the same—they pretty much do the same thing. Microsoft thinks that the integration of Kinect, along with a strong exclusive game lineup would be that which the gaming public was looking for….

It isn’t.

Microsoft should have ditched Kinect completely. While the concept has potential, it isn’t new. It is also costing Xbox because its mandatory inclusion in the system is driving the price.  Developers aren’t falling over themselves to include Kinect in their games, and  many of the hard core gamers find it irrelevant now and will be a bigger nuisance when they have to (HAVE TO) set it up with their new system.

Team Xbox has five months to sort this out. They can roll back their DRM policies and their always online connectivity. They can reduce the price of the console and sell it at a loss. However, they don’t seem to be getting it--in light of the last two days, have come out and said “if you can’t have your Xbox One connected at all times, just buy a 360”. These statements just insult the intelligence of the consumers and are only driving them into the arms of their biggest competitor, who are more than willing to accept them and their market share.

You just made Jack Tretton a man of the people, Microsoft. Think about that. The ball is now in your court. 

An Outsider’s Guide to E3 2013.

Every June, the gaming world descends on one central locale (usually Los Angeles) for the Electronic Entertainment Expo. While, an industry trade show among many throughout the year, E3 seems to be the placeholder as the premier event for breaking gaming news, premier announcements, and industry mingling. The show is usually covered by a cable outlet (in years past it was G4, but now it is Spike TV), and every major gaming publication/website. Gamers around the world tune in to check out the latest news on upcoming games, behind the scenes, and sneak previews.

For as much attention this E3 gets, there has always been this thing about actually attending the event; unless you work in the game industry or game media, you can’t do it.  Bob who sells insurance and plays games can’t go. Dave with his start up commentary blog can’t go, and even Jim who has a blog with some provable credibility can’t go unless he is willing to shell out big time coin for a pass, hotel, accommodations.  The peasants among the devoted gaming collective are reduced to seeing Morgan Webb, Jessica Chobot, Major Nelson, et. al indirectly rubbing your face in the fact that they are at the premier gaming event of the year, and you’re not.

I have never worked directly in the gaming industry; I worked in retail for a few years at a Mom-and-Pop video game store, a toy store that sold games, and a Brick and Mortar store that sells games both new and used games. That is the breadth of my industry involvement, and that was 9 years ago. Since then I’ve been involved in Community Non-Profit, and this year just started in the Mortgage Industry…

…and for the last two years, I’ve attended E3. 

This may come off as a humble brag, but I’ve been fortunate enough to attend E3 and not be subtle about my posing as an outsider. Multiple times I fielded questions like “so what do you do at Sony?”, “How long have you been at Sega?”, “Are you an Amazon buyer, too?”. Each time, I have to sheepishly explain that I’m not of their ilk and they kind of nod and politely head off into another conversation’s direction.

So how do I pull of going to the most widely covered gaming event in the country when I wasn’t invited? Well, what I’m about to tell you are some observations on the show, how I managed to get in to it, and what goes on a bit behind the scenes. There will be no names associated with this, because these people while they should be recognized for their genuine kindness, also went out on a limb to give me a chance to share in the experience.

How does one get into E3? Simple: have some really fucking cool friends. I am fortunate to have friends that work in the industry; first party (Sony, Nintendo, Microsoft), third party (Accessory companies, Sega, Warner Interactive). I met them initially through working at the retail level, but grew my friendships through gaming, networking, and knowing associations. This was one time a year all of them would be in the same place; and both years one of them were able to pull strings and get me an affiliate pass; which meant I was put on a list as being credentialed, and given access to attend the show. These people are first rate; I was able to stay one a hotel room with one of them, they were kind enough to pick up my meals and drinks, and they were able to give me some behind the scenes access to VIP areas. E3 is a work trip for them; they meet with buyers, and retailers, developers, engineers, and producers. They have a passion for games – and for putting out good games. I’m really fortunate to get the opportunity to spend some quality time with them all in one place.

Now that I’ve stroked their egos plenty, here’s a little info about the show itself. First off, you’d think there was this Jets vs. Sharks routine between the heavy hitters – Microsoft, Sony, and Nintendo. At the highest level, there is extreme competition; however, beyond the executive levels, everyone is pretty friendly. All three major companies shared the same hotel – The JW Marriott at LA Live in Downtown Los Angeles. The lower bar and lounge area was frequently packed with people from all different companies, talking light shop, but more importantly, trying to determine whose tab they were going to tie their drinks onto.

There is also an interesting dichotomy among those that work at these companies. The higher you go up the ladder, the less it seems that these guys actually care about the games. They seem to be more interested in how to maximize returns on investment. I get that to a certain extent; if gamers ran game companies, they would all go out of business. Even some of the buyers I met didn’t seem to be that interested in gaming; some of them didn’t really know much about them other than through sales forecasts and previous year numbers.

I saw the most passion was among those that were testers, creative directors, producers, and sales guys. I was able to have dinner with a group of people from Microsoft my first night in town along with a Senior Producer at a company that does mobile games. These people were the front line workers of the show; giving demos, answering questions, promoting their products. They loved to play; all throughout our three-hour dinner, I was able to sit back and observe them talk about past projects, current projects, and what they were looking forward to at the show. They had the job that all gamers wanted but few understood the actual work involved in the process. They weren’t programmers or coders, or mo cap models, or voice actors.

E3 itself, while an industry only event (save for a few posers), could really stand to be more selective about its attendees. The LA Convention Center is huge, but the place is still very claustrophobic when 75,000 of the unwashed masses descend upon the two exhibition halls. All badges aren’t alike; there are badges for Media only, there are some for VIP media, which allows you access outside of the show hours (which is Tuesday--noon-6pm, Wednesday – 10am-6pm, Thursday—10am-5pm), Exhibitors badges which also allow access outside of show floor times, and Exhibits only badges which only allow access during floor times.

The majority of attendees have either the Exhibits only or Media badges, which create a bit of a mess when the doors open for the day. Everyone masses in front of the main doors to each respective hall, while the pros seek out the side entrances with minimal lines. One the

show floor opens, people immediately rush to the games either they want to see the most, or whatever booth is giving out free stuff. If you give out a T-shirt, automatic 2 hour line. If you’re a hot game doing a live demo—automatic 3 hour line. If you’re Disney and you’re giving out a one of a kind trinket—FOUR. HOUR. LINE.

Look, I’m a sucker as much as the next guy for free shit, but nothing is worth waiting in excess of 2 hours to see/play/get a free shirt. My advice is first day, see everything; day two, be willing to wait for something only if it is really cool, and you’re able to play it. Be prepared to be let down for a lot of companies (Bethesda) like to show things behind closed doors only to VIP media or buyers. Don’t waste your day looking at a 20 minute trailer of Destiny. You’re going to buy the game, regardless, and you’ll be able to buy a Tshirt somewhere down the road.

Another tip is that you’ll want to dress comfortable. Those that are there for work will wear a sport coat, button up shirt, nice jeans or slacks, and dress shoes. You’re going to be on your feet for 5-7 hours – wear nice shoes. Also, I don’t know if you’re familiar with the concept of Los Angeles weather, but wear shorts and a light shirt. The convention halls are kept at a pretty cool temperature, but you’re still going to sweat.

Pack light; there really is no reason to be toting around your tablet, laptop, sleeping back, 3DS, etc. The wifi at the LACC sucks, and you’re only going to be weighed down. Nice camera, phone, that’s it. Speaking of phones…

…bring multiple batteries, or a mobile charger. This is a shameless plug (no pun intended), but this iSound portable charger was a savior last year and this year for those who have Android phones that don’t like to last long snapping pictures and uploading them to Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, etc.

It is okay to wear an ironic shirt or video game shirt, but try to be unique. I went with my N7 shirt yesterday thinking I was going to be all cool; well it isn’t cool once you’ve passed the 300^th person wearing something N7. Today I went with a shirt featuring Pam Poovey from Archer (via Teefury), and that was a much better decision. If you’re going out at night, then you can change into a collared shirt. During the show, keep it casual -- just don’t be a furry. If you attend E3 and you’re dressed as some kind of elf or Pokemon character, or for God’s sake wear something Brony related, you will draw my ire and immediately not be taken seriously.

Food wise, food trucks are the way to go as the sandwiches and drinks inside will run you a small fortune. There are quite a few food trucks camped out in the side entrances between the South and West halls. Don’t spend 45 minutes waiting at Starbucks. If you need a drink, hit a vending machine.

Make sure you’re getting sleep. I live in the Midwest, therefore my body is 2 hours ahead of local time, therefore I was always mega tired. You don’t want to be that guy that taps out at 10:30 because you’ve been on your feet all day, your eating schedule is all fucked up, and it is 12:30am in your internal chronometer, so try and get plenty of rest.

I am really not the world’s biggest drinker. I’ve had to pace myself at the bars and lounges at night. Usually, someone has an open tab going and people just attach their drinks to that tab. I’d love to see the faces of the accounts people at Microsoft, Sony, and Nintendo when they are try to reconcile $25,000 (that’s a VERY conservative estimate) in alcohol and food expenses over three days among their staff members. Drinks costs at the JW Marriott were obscene. I saw three drinks – a mixed drink, a glass of champagne, and a beer—go for $45. You can try and be courteous and order a soda to temper costs and your impending hangover, but it will be met with some ridicule. Still, go easy on the drinks for yourself and your friends.

One cheesy thing I’ve done the last two years is to buy an E3 logo’d T-shirt. This year’s selection wasn’t as good as last year’s but it is something cool to bring back and show your friends that yes, you were that guy that got to go to E3 and they weren’t. You are the guy that has the good friends willing to hook you up, and all they have are you willing to tell them what they were missing out on. Maybe, one day, they can be that cool, too.

Lord Bling's Ouya Unboxing Video

He shut up and gave them his money. Let's see how it pays off.

This is what Battlefield 3 has been reduced to...

Ok, let's backtrack a bit.

A few months ago, I took a new job. Total career change, total commute change, total leap of faith. I went from being in an office 30 hours or so a week to 50 hours a week. Naturally, that allocation of time and energy meant less time for goofing around on the video game console.

There are a lot of things coming up in the next few weeks. E3 is on the immediate horizon, which should at least reveal a lot of questions we have about the two new consoles coming this fall/winter. There should be new games to explore and new technologies to embrace, but let us look back at one of the games of yesteryear that occupied most of our time:

Battlefield 3.

This game is a conundrum; we have a love/hate relationship with it. Love because it is probably the best shooter of its kind currently out there and hate because it should have been a lot better and better designed. A few months back, bored of the repetitive malaise of bullet lag, hiding through walls, and over powered weapons, we decided to keep things interesting by attempting stunts. Below is what came of that night:




Desperate to re-create that, we tried it again last night, only it took quite a while to re-create that allure of fun and humor through repetitive failure. There are a few other stunts we tried other than the one seen above, but that just didn't quite live up to it. As Sgt. Angry put it; "we tried to recreate the epic party, which evolved organically, and now we're just making shit".

Eventually we went back to the well and tried this again, with everyone in party pulling off the stunt (yours truly making it on my last attempt, after all the capture devices were turned off). However, if this is really the only way we can squeeze a few ounces of fun out of one of the better games of the past year, then I'm not sure how much optimism I should have for the games of the immediate future.

Welcome to Columbia

Bioshock Infinite showed up in the mail last night and I decided to give it a whirl. I will have a full review in a few weeks, but so far... well I'm going to let the video below give you an idea of how immersive this world seems to be at the start. Very much nails the feeling of the first Bioshock game without the creepiness:

More to come...

Lord Bling's Let's Play -- Tomb Raider

The first 45 minutes of Single Player campaign of Tomb Raider, which released last Tuesday. I'll have a review later this week, but here is a sneak preview: it's good.

Lord Bling's thoughts on Chivalry Medieval Warfare

Ok, fine, I'll buy it:

TL;DR Top Games of 2012

Wow, a year does go by pretty quick, doesn't it? In what has become a yearly tradition, I sit here at my in-law's New Years Eve party pounding out this blog post instead of participating in some inane family gathering that involves kids screaming, some sporting event I don't care about, and the eventual countdown to a New Year where I resolve myself to write more blog posts, only to not come close to doing so.

2012 was an odd year. A new console released this year, one that will defy expectations of failure like its predecessor, despite being only on par with consoles seven and eight years older in terms of technology and selection of Library. A new handheld released this year, with all the technological promise to challenge perennial handheld king for its crown, and yet falling flat due to no creativity when it comes to unique IP's and games.

There always appears to be a bit of a lull in the year before major console releases, and while Microsoft and Sony made some efforts, everything seemed to just be waiting until February 2013 when Microsoft is rumored to unveil the next Xbox, or May/June where Sony is rumored to follow suit. Still, We were hit in the last quarter with some quality titles, worthy of filling up a top ten of the year. This list really isn't all that different from other bests of lists and does not vary greatly from lists of years past; chalk full of franchise sequels, franchise adaptations, and remakes. Only one original IP made the list this year. While I am a little disappointed that there weren't more original IPs that made the list, I am hopeful that maybe they were saved for the next console generation or maybe a value game that can be picked up next year and enjoyed.

A quick note about our panelists: This year, this list is a compilation of six people's input. While I will not name them specifically, I will state that I am the only member of this panel that does not work in the video game industry: Two people work for first party companies, one for a top tier developer, one for a prominent mobile game company and one for a prominent accessory company. Each provided me with their top games of the year, with a point value assigned to their choices. The tabulations were made by order of final point tally. So, without further ado...

The contributors of TL;DR present:  Top Ten Games of 2012

10. New Super Mario Brothers (WiiU/3DS)

I have a soft spot for New SMB. Some will say that the 3DS version was way too easy, but Nintendo just keeps proving that if it isn't broken, don't fix it. Maybe this is my sense of nostalgia getting the best of me when it comes to this franchise, but with every iteration of Mario out there currently, just going to the basics of jumping around with the raccoon suit, flower power, or mini mushroom just does not cease to get old.






9. Journey (PS3)

(From Lord Bling): "Probably the best $15 you can spend this year. It contains not a single word of dialog, and yet inspires more emotion than almost every other game I've ever played. Until Fumito Ueda can finally deliver The Last Guardian, I'll be playing through this again."







8: XCOM: Enemy Unknown (Multi, PC)

This is merely an updated version of XCOM: UFO Defense that came out in the mid 90's on MS DOS. However, this version is allowing gamers to discover what I loved then, being the first game to keep me up into the wee hours of the night. This squad turn-based shooter involves elements of managing the XCOM project, keeping governments happy, researching, manufacturing, then going out on missions and killing aliens. The gameplay is addicting as it was almost 20 years ago, the seamless tutorial into game is fantastic. Just make sure you save often.





7. Halo 4 (Xbox 360)

Eyes rolled a bit when this game was announced; with majority of us thinking that Halo was going to be gone when Bungie moved on, and there may not have been equal faith in 343 to carry on. However, we were pleasantly surprised with a good Single Player and multiplayer that both added a needed upgrade while maintaining the integrity of the game most of us all started out loving.







6. Call of Duty Black Ops 2 (Multi)*

This game comes with a bit of a caveat: This game was voted on and included mainly on its multiplayer. The single player campaign is a hilariously ridiculous romp that continues to be the overlooked part of the franchise. I was a large hater when this game came out, but too many people had fun with multiplayer I famously caved and bought in on the fun. Again, Treyarch doesn't reinvent the wheel, here: they just continued with fast paced, multiplayer action.





5. Forza Horizon (Xbox 360)

One of those games that kind of flew under the radar, Horizon pissed off the racing sim purists, but for me combined the more fun elements of racing with the Burnout Paradise style play through. You aren't penalized for taking corners too sharp (as you can rewind your screw-ups). You are also able to play "ghosts" of your friends' races, creating an interesting competitive co-op as you play on.







4. The Walking Dead (Xbox 360, PC, PS3)

(from Lord Bling): "If video games ever expand into a larger art form, we may look back on this as one of the turning points. Even though it's more of an interactive novel than a traditional game, Lee and Clementine are the most 'real' characters in any game I've ever played. Struggling for their survival will have you making moral choices that you'll think twice about, and then you'll second-guess those choices after the fact. By the end of the final episode, I was an emotional wreck. This game had me excited for what this medium can eventually become."





3. Far Cry 3 (Multi)
(once again from Lord Bling):

"I punched a shark in the face. 

Just when I thought I was burned out on open-world games, this one delivered more 'holy crap' moments and genuine laughs than anything else I played this year. It made me feel like the star of an action movie. The first two Far Cry games were ambitious but uneven. This one corrects all the wrongs, and has a blast doing it. The tagline of 'Skyrim with guns' isn't too far off. While there are many ways to get around the massive island (cars, jeeps, jet skis, patrol boats, ziplines, hang gliders, wingsuits), exploring on foot while hunting was just as much fun. The "L.A. trust-funder turns into jungle mercenary" story is enjoyable (especially by normal shooter standards, even if it starts to tail off near the end), and the voice acting is stellar. The side missions are varied too, and are short enough to not overstay their welcome.

The AI is fairly random, which leads to some memorable moments. Sometimes while trying to capture a base, I spotted a caged animal inside. You can shoot the cage door lock and let the animal out, and it will distract the bad guys. At one point, I was observing a base through my camera when a black bear came out of the jungle and started attacking everyone. Instead of firing at them, I just watched as they screamed in horror and tried to kill it, and failed. The bear ripped every one of them apart, and then I got credit for capturing the base. I was in the right place at the right time. And I couldn't stop laughing. Besides a lengthy campaign, and tons of post-game exploration and side missions, there is also a decent co-op campaign, a full competitive multiplayer, and a map editor. It's not all perfect though. The graphics on Xbox aren't as sharp as I'd like, but I suppose it's a fair trade for drawing such a huge open map.

 The multiplayer feels a little floaty when compared to other AAA shooters. However, I think the biggest omission is not being able to start a "New Game Plus" and carry your unlocked perks and weapons over into a new game. But, these are all minor complaints in my book. It's the most fun I had with a game this year."


2. Mass Effect 3 (Xbox 360)

Everyone talks about the end, which was initially panned when spoiled on the internet. However, once you went through the game, which was a long goodbye wrapped in an action packed finale, you accepted the end. Still, Bioware went back to and amended an extended ending that gave fans more satisfaction. I had always been a huge Mass Effect fan (was my personal Game of the Year this year, as ME2 was my Game of
the Year in 2010), this game said goodbye to long time friends, solidified Shepard's mission to save an Earth under siege. The voice acting is top notch (I love you, Jennifer Hale), the story gives you difficult choices, and the game is actually pretty difficult.

This time around, Bioware incorporated a co-op Multiplayer element that was no only fun, but crucial to the Single Player campaign in effecting the eventual outcome.


1. Borderlands 2 (Multi)

This was the near-unanimous Game of the Year. Gearbox took all the fun, gameplay, story, humor, and enjoyment of the first Borderlands and turned it up to 11. This game was challenging, hilarious, and encouraged a full 4 player party with diverse classes in order to take down the big bosses. Downloadable DLC add ons were available not long after the game released in September. We all found ourselves running around talking to NPC's, frantically looking to finish every mission, laughing at most, but even taken back by a few outcomes.

The playability of this game will continue far beyond 2012 with the promise of new DLC down the road, and going back and trying to finish all the missions on the increasingly difficult "True Vault Hunter Mode". This game is the personification of what makes cooperative multiplayer a near necessity for future games. From the more coherent story and hilarious dialogue, to the improved gameplay, inventory, Borderlands 2 is the clear class of 2012.

Lord Bling's Call of Duty Black Ops 2 Video Review.

You should be playing Battlefield 3.

Long time, no post!  I figured I'd start off the New Year by contributing something to this long-forgotten site.  Between this and the Top Ten, it's a regular firestorm of content all of a sudden!

So, if you're not playing Battlefield 3 ... why not?  This is what you're missing out on:

The footage is from the Xbox.  The wonderful Lady Bling (not her real name) got me a Hauppage HD PVR for Christmas.  It was easy to set up, and works just like advertised.  Then I bought Adobe Premiere Elements 10 and have been learning how to use it.  It's not as full-featured as the more expensive editing programs, but it's a hell of a lot better than the free ones I'd been messing around with.

Now let's see if this site stays empty for the next 11 months....

TL;DR Top Games of 2011

Well holy shit, you guys; where has the time gone? Where have all my blog posts gone? I swear I've been dropping three or four posts a week for the last six months, what is this I don't even.

OK FINE. I haven't been around. Sorry, but it really isn't like those who read this know that I've been busy, and that everyone else apparently has as well. However, since this is New Year's Eve, I suppose I shall grace this Earth with a Top 10 of the year, even though the shelf life on this list is about another six hours.

This list is a compilation and combination of what the contributors of this site (or, just the list) have provided. I have some perspectives on some games, others I haven't even had the ability to get into yet because I've been so busy playing other games on this list. One of my resolutions for next year is to be more diligent about wasting time reviewing games that you've already played and won't even read this. However, here goes anyway:

Now the Contributors of TL;DR present:

 TOP TEN GAMES OF 2011

10. L.A. Noire

Earlier this year, I was torn between the awesomeness of the presentation and beginning of the story, and the eventual letdown and WTF moments in how that story unfolded at the conclusion. Even if you could boil this game down to Grand Theft Auto of the late 40's playing good guy, that really isn't a bad place to start.

9. Dead Space 2

Some of us really liked it, some of us didn't, but Visceral Games' follow up to a Sci-Fi horror classic is back for more with less frights and more action. I, for one, was perfectly fine with less fright because I can now sleep at night. While the multiplayer is very forgettable, the campaign doesn't disappoint. 

8. Deus Ex: Human Revolution

(from IGN): 

"While Deus Ex: Human Revolution can't be the revelation that Deus Ex was in 2000, it's an achievement nonetheless. It's a visionary, considered piece of work, and while my thoughts drift to the things that could have been and the compromises made due to the possibilities of video games in 2011, they're just as quick to consider playing through it again. Human Revolution is a smart, rewarding piece of transhumanist noir that does justice not just to Deus Ex, but to the fiction that inspired it"

7. Dead Island

I mean, come on, who can hate a game with ZAMBIES? Dead Island was almost exactly like Borderlands for me; a game that came from out of no where when I was waiting for other games to come out. It pretty much is Borderlands. On an Island. With Zombies. The game was insanely addictive from start to finish, as I pretty much went to look to upgrade killing utensils. By the way, in playing this, prepare to die: A LOT. 

6. Uncharted 3

(from Lord Bling): 

"Here's a franchise that lives and breathes set pieces.  No matter where Nathan Drake is in the world, expect everything to go tits-up and you'll be racing to escape a crashing airplane, a sinking ocean liner, etc.  They also included some multi-segmented MP maps, which felt different from everything else I've played this year.  So why isn't the game higher on this list?  Part 2 was #2 in 2009.  Unfortunately, this one doesn't live up to the gold standard of that game.  The campaign's story and dialogue aren't nearly as sharp, and weakly ties the set pieces together.  The aiming and shooting mechanic was tweaked, and now it felt a lot sloppier (Naughty Dog has since patched this, but I haven't replayed any of the campaign since).  Worst of all, I wasn't really rooting for Nathan in this one.  His motivation is largely selfish and stupid.  But wow, those set pieces."

5. Gears of War 3

Another in my failure to get on the 'reviewing games' ball. Gears was one of those games that kind of got lost in the flood of games that came out between September and November.

Gears was a very satisfying conclusion to one of the better shooter sagas of this console generation. Both single player and multiplayer were solid, as I finally got to enjoy Gears' multiplayer instead of being pulverized by people running around using Host Shotguns to their advantage. Horde Mode was great, but the best part was the 4 player co-op campaign. Finally, as the franchise concludes, Epic gets it. 

4. Batman: Arkham City

Batman is so hot right now. But in seriousness, Arkham City is a great expansion of Arhkham Asylum of a few years ago. One of our contriubutors, who will not be mentioned, put this game as their number one game of the year.

(from GiantBomb):

"If you want to be reductive about it, Arkham City is more Batman, and if you want more Batman, there's no question: you should play this game. But there's more to it than that. In the two years since Arkham Asylum, there hasn't really been anything like it until now. Getting another chance to use Batman's considerable combat talents as you engage in one of the best fighting systems going today is a joy. The city looks terrific, like it's one step away from just bursting into flames as criminals crawl across every single surface doing... whatever it is that criminals do when they're locked in a city-shaped prison. The interior areas look just as good, giving you a sense that, again, this is a realistic place that's been overrun. The voice acting, featuring plenty of the same cast members that performed so perfectly last time around, is incredibly sharp, with writing that fits what you'd expect from most of the different characters you face. But to sum it all up, it's hard to imagine any fan of action games coming away from Arkham City disappointed. It might not rewrite the book on Batman video games, but when you're building off of such a strong position--and you're only shipping the second game with such similarities, rather than a third or fourth--it's hard to bicker too much about what changes the developers did or didn't make."

3. Portal 2

(again, from Lord Bling)

"Expectations can be a bitch.  When The Orange Box was released, Portal was the sleeper hit of the year, and for good reason.  The first-person puzzle gameplay was one-of-a-kind, and the writing was whip-smart and laugh-out-loud funny.  It not only told a compelling story, but did so in about two hours.  So here comes a sequel, which is around six  to eight hours long, and adds a meaty 2-player co-op mode.  And people still flooded Metacritic user reviews to complain.  "It's too short!  It's not worth $60!"  Wrong wrong wrong wrong WRONG.  They added to an already deep and rich universe, with new gameplay mechanics that somehow don't break what had been established previously.  That alone is worth celebrating.  And then there's Wheatley, the best character in a video game in a long damned time.  I had very high expectations for this game, and it met every single one of them."

2. Battlefield 3

This is THE BEST Multiplayer Shooter of the year. I don't care if the single player campaign is dull, un-original, short, and forgettable. There isn't a better place to squad up and shoot other people in the face. The fact that many here will still be playing this game well into 2012 is one of the reasons we all voted this game so high on our lists. Gameplay is well balanced between classes, you actually HAVE TO PLAY AS A TEAM, and kill-whoring basically gets you nowhere. Did I mention, you get to fly FUCKING JETS?!? 

1. The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

(from Joystiq):

"This is the deepest, loveliest world ever created for a single player to explore, and one that no one should deny themselves. This is a game about following Emerson's advice, leaving the trail and finding that the most powerful force on Earth or Tamriel isn't fire or sword, but the ever-insistent desire to know what lies beyond."

Let us all be honest with ourselves: this comes as a surprise to precisely no one, considering Skyrim is pretty much on everyone else's GOTY lists.
Bethesda pretty much writes its own ticket when it comes to these type of Role Playing Masterpieces. This game is like Second Life with Dragons; you can engross yourself in the world of Skyrim for hours upon hours, and not even touch the main storyline. Some complain that there is somewhat of a lack of overall story, but I disagree: Skyrim is a world where you can dictate your own story, at your own pace. Do you want to mine ore and smith? Ok. If you want to affectionately count blades of grass, and cultivate flowers? No complaints. People have leveled multiple times over without having killed a single creature. Skyrim is what you make it; and for us, we've made it the best of 2011. 

Duke Nukem Forever Review

Screw the naysayers, Duke Nukem Forever is a fun game. 15 years ago, shortly after Duke Nukem 3D successfully released, 3D Realms (and even though Gearbox's name is on the cover, this is still a 3D Realms game, their last one) decided that the sequel to their game would be called Duke Nukem Forever, and began initial work on it. At the 1998 E3, the first trailer was released to the public. 13 years later the game finally released. Is it perfect? No. I'll get to that in a minute. Is it Raucous, immature, and humorous? If you played Duke Nukem 3D, I don't need to answer that. And if you are expecting anything different, this is not the game for you. It's Duke Nukem, not Call of Duty, Halo, or Dead Space (there are references to all of these in the game). It never takes itself seriously, which is exactly how it should be.

First the good. As the game opens, an Alien Mothership has returned to Earth claiming goodwill. It doesn't take long before they start taking our women, and Duke is called

back into action (against the President of the US's orders) to save them and all of humanity. The levels are linear, but well designed. You'll fight aliens in a stadium, a Vegas casino, a fast food joint high above the Vegas streets, the Nevada Desert, and on top of, inside of, and even deep underwater by the Hoover Dam. The FPS action is mixed up between mini games, turret battles, and little distractions scattered throughout the levels, that once you try for the first time, add to your EGO Gauge (life meter). Things like turning on a hand dryer in the restroom, peeing into a urinal, playing a game of pool or pinball, and several others. There's a few levels mid-way where you are headed to the Hoover Dam (the first part of the game takes place in Las Vegas), and you are given a monster truck to drive. These were some of the funnest levels I played. The truck never felt like it was floating or skating. There are areas where your truck runs out of gas, and you have to go out on foot, find gas, and bring it back to the truck before you can move on. In several places, you are shrunk down to action figure size. These areas consist of mostly platforming sequences that other than a couple of hiccups, work surprisingly well. A lot of this takes place at Duke Burger in Vegas, another area, that was one of my favorites.

The weapon variety is pretty good, although except for boss battles and a few other instances, you'll probably find yourself sticking to the Ripper. There's some fun to be had with the Shrink Ray and the Freeze Gun, but you'll always come back to the Ripper. You can find several "power up" items throughout the game as well. You use them by pushing a specific direction on the D Pad, however you can only carry one of each at a time. Beer will make you stronger, and you take less damage. Steroids make you almost invulnerable, and you get one punch melee attacks. The Holoduke creates a hologram of you, while turning you invisible so that enemies focus on him instead of you. And finally, you always have Dukevision, this game's version of night vision.

As I stated above, this game isn't without it's faults. After you beat the game, you'll unlock some extras, including videos of previous trailers, and art from previous versions. There's also a nifty little timeline for the game. Based on all that, I'm guessing this game was visually finished in 2008. And since I'm guessing, I'll go one further, and say that the visuals are based on the engine

from another 3D Realms game, Prey, which released in 2006. And it shows. The graphics are far from what is coming out of most games this far into the consoles' lifecycles. And there are some framerate issues. I would be surprised if the game is evening running at 30 FPS in some places. But perhaps the most surprising and disappointing thing about the game is the load times. I could forgive the sub-par graphics and the framerate issues. Between each, level you will wait 40-50 seconds for a level to load. If you die, you also have to wait that long. I didn't die a lot (playing at the normal level), but there are a couple of boss battles that are very trial and error, and it doesn't make things any better having to wait almost a minute after each death. According to the timeline in the extras, the single player was pretty much done in 2009. While they used the extra time to get through legal and ownership issues, as well as add a multiplayer component to the game, you'd think in two years they would be able to fix the load time issues. It's disappointing.

And while there is a multiplayer part included in the game, I didn't play it. Didn't have any interest. I got the game for the singleplayer campaign, so I won't be reviewing the MP.

This game should never have released at a full $59.99 retail. Had it been released at $39.99 or less, I would probably give it an 8 out of 10. At full price though, I can't give it anything higher than a 6.5. I'd recommend it at a lower price point or as a rental.

TL;DR: Fun, entertaining game with 2006 visuals, and enjoy those load times!

REVIEW: L.A. Noire

For once, I’m in a quandary about how to proceed. I just completed a game that had my full attention, that blew me away in terms of story telling and visual effects, but also left me with a lot of questions and frustrations. Am I being to greedy for wanting more in a game that is already fantastic? Am I being overly critical for totally enjoying a twenty hour experience but still having a bit of an empty feeling. Am I looking too much into a game that gave me all the answers and yet I still have questions?

This is the enigma that is L.A. Noire, from Rockstar Games. Set in 1947 Los Angeles, you play as Cole Phelps, a undeserving war hero turned driven, overachieving LA Police Officer working his way through the ranks one case at a time. As in Rockstar’s last bestseller, Red Dead Redemption the protagonist has a troubled past, trying to make things right, playing out through a twisted maze of friends turned enemies and the mystery of an overarching conspiracy driving the story.

If you've played Red Dead or Grand Theft Auto, you’re familiar with the basic set up. Driving around a large landscape, doing tasks that drive the story, and filling time doing small minor tasks not necessarily germane to the overarching plot. L.A. Noire is really no different in that simplistic presentation. There are, however, a few new elements that you have to grapple with to move yourself throughout the game. Since you are a Police Detective, you must master the art of interrogation and “reading” people’s reactions in order to determine whether they are telling you the truth, they’re hiding something from you, or just flat out lying. If you are correct, you will get the info you need to lead you to the next clue or solve the case quicker. If you are incorrect in your assumption, you’ll get the run around.

Cole Phelps’ troubled past is as a marine lieutenant serving in the horror of the WWII’s South Pacific. He is a meticulous and all too “by the book” as a platoon commander, which draws the ire of both marines under his command, and fellow platoon commanders who feel that Phelps’ dithering is costing time and lives. This storyline is presented in flashback form throughout the game, with characters in that flashback appearing throughout the present day Los Angeles. When you begin the game, Phelps is a gum shoe beat cop, who’s potential catches the eye of his superiors, who advance him to detective based on his stellar performance and reputation as a war hero.

The main story puts you working cases progressing through four department desks; traffic, homicide, vice, and arson. Traffic will get you acclimated to the procedures of gathering clues, interviewing persons of interests, tracking down potential suspects, and eventually making the collar. As you cruise through the streets of Los Angeles, you are also alerted to “street crimes”, emergency calls that you can either tend to or ignore, as mentioned before, they are something that doesn’t really relate to the overall story.

Once you have things down in Traffic, Phelps is promoted to Homicide, where you begin working murders. This desk is the largest of the game, and as you gather evidence and clues, you begin to notice strange ties that string all these murders together. I’m not going to spoil the story from here, but each re-assignment to a new desk is the result of an event in the last case of the last desk; something that continues Phelps down to the realization that in these cases he’s worked lies a deeper and complex plot at hand involving people he’s encountered earlier in the game either through interview and evidence.

There are a few things that really stand out throughout L.A. Noire; first of all the environment and landscape is absolutely stunning. Apparently, Rockstar used footage both through aerial still photographs and landscape photos to faithfully recreate late 1940’s Los Angeles to 90% accuracy. The city is vibrant both day and night, sometimes I found myself driving around the city instead of ‘fast travelling’ to a location just to see the different points of interest.

Another thing that has been made a very big deal about the game is the technology used to create the facial and voice animations, which, quite frankly are the best I’ve ever seen in a video game. And its not just lips moving to words; its facial features expressing emotions like frustration, anger, intimidation. You can just see without hearing anyone speak that they are being coy, smug, desperate, deliberate, or scared. Aaron Stanton who plays Cole Phelps delivers a really remarkable performance that is exemplified by how well his face and body language are rendered. The game does a pretty good job of giving you characters you can both relate with and enjoy like Phelps’ partner Det. Rusty Galloway in homicide, and also distrust and annoy in Earle, your partner in Vice.

Now, here is my quandary. I really enjoyed my time playing L.A. Noire, and pretty much could not put it down from the moment I bought it on release day. However, there are things that if I really sat down and picked the game apart, I would find almost as much if not more things find negative than positive of it being a great looking game and something that did keep my attention.

The “action” of the game is soft. Yes, there are car chases and gun fights, but they are really kind of substandard when actually compared to similar third-person action  games but even other Rockstar games. You’re trusty weapon of choice is your handy pistol, which you have to bring into every gunfight and hopefully take down the bad guys who always are out-arming you with Tommy Guns and Shotguns. There is a cover system but it just seems a bit awkward going from cover to cover, when you can just run around, auto aim and take people’s heads off.  As Lord Bling eluded to below, street fighting is a button mash fest, though the fights get slightlymore difficult later in the game.

Car chases are very problematic as the fugitives’ cars drive like they are on rails and you’re car varies from having absolutely no power steering to maneuvering like your driving on a sheet of ice. Again, the later I was into the game, I got a better hang of driving. Still, though, I found myself having to restart car chase after car chase because I would get hung up on a light pole that won’t collapse or would be on the heels of the suspect’s car and they would take a perfectly executed turn into an alley and I would sputter onto oncoming traffic.

Truth? Lie? How the hell should I know?

As I mentioned before, while interviewing a person of interest, the answer to your question would be met with three responses: truth, doubt, or lie. If you knew the person was lying, you’d better have evidence in hand to prove it, and you’ve made the right choice. However, sometimes choosing between truth and doubt was pretty much a 50/50 decision. I mean why would a witness to a murder hide something from me when she was obviously shaken and the victim meant something to her? Well apparently, I wasn’t good at figuring that out when I would mistakenly think “yeah, she’s telling the truth”. In OXM’s review of L.A.Noire, they gave the good advice of “when in doubt, choose ‘doubt’”. I’d stick with that practice.

In the end I don't think it really matters because it doesn't appear that the results of some of your interrogations and miscalculations in interviewing people of interest actually affect the result of a case, only how well you were rated on solving the case. And I don’t think (or at least haven’t been alerted to) your rating on the case has any bearing on how the story plays out. Sometimes you have to multiple people tied to a case as a possible suspect and you have to decide who to charge, or you are in a situation where you have to decide to charge someone and you aren’t sure if they are the right person.

Having completed the game and knowing its outcome, I get the latter in why the game’s story makes you charge someone you aren’t sure is the actual culprit. Without spoiling anything, it kind of ties back into the whole concept that you’re not putting a person away because you think they are really the killer, but you have enough evidence that a DA will put them away, and that there is a gray area in Justice that never quite vibed with Phelps.

Phelps is the wanna-be White Knight. As you work cases, you see that he is a guy who wants to do things by the book, but also be someone who is ambitious and yet not content with the status quo of finding the convenient suspect and building the evidence around putting them away. He is thorough, and deliberate, which draws the consternation of everyone around him; the player gets that. Then he does something completely out of character at the end of Vice that hardly set up before hand and you are like “WUT”. It really doesn’t make any sense and sets off a weird tone for the final desk of cases.

Having said all that, I just have to play the hypocrite and look beyond it and say I loved playing L.A. Noire. But don’t discount what Lord Bling and NIN have said below because I cannot really argue with them (sometimes repetition can be mundane and L.A. Noire definitely has that). I've already downloaded the DLC (which was really pre-order bonuses made available to the general public) and am looking forward to getting through that. While I do think there are things that can definitely be improved upon if Team Bondi and Rockstar decide to make future installations of the game (which they’ve hinted to be interested in doing), I think this has been a pretty good first step.

TL;DR- Your mileage may vary.

L.A. Noire?

More like L.A. Bore, amirite?


I'm barely kidding here. I'm on the third disc, and I'm wondering if it's even worth my time to see it through. I have six cases left, and I'm just over it. Each case takes about an hour, and if that means I have six hours of this left, I don't know if I'm gonna make it. If this is what it was like to be a detective in the late 40s, I would've let myself get shot just to have some paid vacation.

First of all, the writers are clearly big fans of L.A. Confidential. As well they should be. It's a masterpiece. But did they have to be so blatant about it? There are thousands of other books and films from this era that they could've borrowed from. And yet, the typing when you get to the scene of a crime? Stolen from L.A. Confidential. An Irish department head who calls you 'boy-o'? Facepalm.jpeg. I'm sure they borrowed from other stories from the time, but they made a couple of easy thefts from a very obvious source.

So, how is the gameplay?

Combat? What combat? Mash X and A, profit.



I'm not expecting a deep fighting engine, or someone to stop during a fight and yell 'MORTAL KOMBAT!', but it's so base-level, it could've been done on the NES.

Gunplay? Hope you like the 1911. Half the time, you don't even get to go to your trunk to get a better weapon. At this point in the game, I don't even waste the time to go to the trunk because that's just more time I have to spend playing. Again, I'm not expecting Modern Warfare here, but at least be as engaging as the gunplay in previous Rockstar games. This feels like a big step backward.

Street cases? Meh. They're always popping up when I'm in the middle of something more important. Even worse, they're almost all exactly the same, except that one time I saved some dude from jumping off of a tower. Climb to the top of a church, grab the guy, the end. Then I thought, 'What was the point of that?' Oh yeah, I know: Padded game time.

Pic related -- It's me while playing this game.

The framerate is terrible most of the time you're driving or out in the open world. It took Sony 4 1/2 years, but I actually regret buying a game on the Xbox 360. (EDIT: I loaded all three discs onto my hard drive, similar to NIN)

Film reels? I haven't found a single one. Am I doing it wrong? Is there a reason why I should care?

Newspapers? Blah blah blah, bad actor doctor dude, blah blah blah. To quote Stan in the Towelie episode: "Don't care, don't care, don't care."



Lastly, I can't overlook a glaring issue with the story about half-way through the game. I'll keep the spoilers to a minimum, but let's just say that feeling you have that you might be putting the wrong person behind bars? Yeah, it bothered me. And you don't have the option to do any different. For an open world game, I found the lack of freedom in the investigations to be extremely disappointing.

There are plenty of things L.A. Noire does right. The interrogation sequences are strong, even if they're not a step up from the conversation control you have in an action RPG like Mass Effect or even Alpha Protocol. The atmosphere, the look, and the score all are amazing. The mo-cap is fantastic, of course. But those things don't make a great game without the gameplay. I give Rockstar and Team Bondi credit for trying something different, but it would've been a better cable miniseries than a game.

TL;DR -- L.A. Noire is all sizzle and no steak.